What is it about women choosing men who are bad for them? It’s almost as if the average woman doesn’t have any concept of what is harmful and was it not. You’ll see women complaining that all men are jerks, that they can’t get a fair shake, and that all the good men are taken or gay… but of course, that’s not the case, is it? Most women have at least a small following of what we call “beta orbiters” — “nice guys” who would gladly do anything these women asked, if only those women would consent to be with them romantically. The problem for these beta orbiters is that they simply aren’t what women seem to want. No matter how hard they try, they just end up getting used and abused, manipulated and thrown away once the women involved get what they want out of them. For example, a typical woman surrounded by beta orbiters will use them to help her move heavy furniture and so forth, but that type of assistance will earn them absolutely no credit with that woman whatsoever. It won’t get them any closer to her, and it won’t move them from the helpless “friend zone” to anything resembling being considered as a romantic partner.
So what is it that women love about men who are “bad boys?” The thing is, men who are jerks — to women, to other men, whatever — or who constantly seem to find themselves on the wrong side of the law or society have something in common that always attracts women. It’s something that works no matter who they are compared to the sad, friend-zoned beta orbiters in the world, and that is that bad boys are men first. They don’t let anyone, including women, push them around. They don’t take orders. They can’t be controlled. Women secretly love a man who cannot be controlled and they crave attention from that kind of man. It is precisely because these types of men aren’t easily controlled that women are attracted.
Having this kind of I-don’t-care attitude is also in part what makes a bad-choice man look so attractive to a woman. It makes him look confident and self-assured, qualities that women associate with strength. And this makes perfect sense, because it all comes town to evolutionary genetics. Not so long ago there was a study done at the Hospital Clinic of Barcelona. The study looked at a thousand people, both men and women, and examined various qualities about them. These ran the gamut from everything including their income, the type of job they worked, whether they had kids, and a bunch of other things. The result were pretty amazing. The study showed that men and women alike found people who were impulsive and reckless were considered far more attractive to the opposite sex. The study also found that people who had these traits, instead of being losers with problems, were just as often quite successful as human beings — in other words, the very type of people we think of being attractive to others.
The whole “success” thing, it turns out, all comes back to what is attractive and what is not. Being reckless and willing to take risks, it turns out, actually ends up as a benefit to many people, because the more willing you are to be impulsive and take risks, the more likely you are to embrace opportunities that result in you becoming a successful person in life over the long term. And long-term success is what people find attractive, whether they are women or men, but especially if they are women. People who enjoy long-term success are notably different from those who don’t. Among other things, they make about 100% more money than their less successful counterparts, which means women want to be with men who are successful because those men are rich and have resources. And that’s another lesson of evolutionary genetics: Men choose women who are physically attractive, while women are heavily biased toward men with resources.
On a genetic level this has to do with women being preprogrammed to want their children to be provided for. Women, when they are pregnant, and when they have small children, are physically vulnerable. Having a man who has resources, a man who is strong and powerful, means having protection for themselves and for their offspring. Genetically, this makes women wanting successful men is a genetic imperative.
Guys with a darker side are also considered more interesting. On the surface this makes perfect sense, because “nice guys” are seldom very interesting. They behave predictably. They always follow the rules and you can count on them to do as they are told by those in authority, for the most part. Now compare and contrast this to a “bad boy” figure. He does what he wants, thumbs his nose at authority, and basically is his own man. This is what women want. They want a guy who is confident enough to be his own person and not listen to what other people tell him to do. That kind of independence, even if it looks like recklessness or impulsiveness, is very appealing to women, which is why such men always score when their nicer-guy counterparts are left behind in the dust.
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